essays

I accidentally checked out a young adult coming-of-age book. Well, that’s not exactly true. The checking out was deliberate, the coming-of-age part was the accident. Also… I checked out two, not one. I knew Lin-Manuel Miranda had written a couple of books and being a big fan, I wanted to read them. I logged into the library’s audio book catalog and typed “Lin-Manuel Miranda” into the search bar. Two books came up. I clicked on both and checked them out. When OverDrive asked me if I wanted to “download MP3”, I said yes. I tapped the play button on my […]

Nothing was wrong. Not really. Nothing was right either. I wasn’t depressed. I’ve been depressed and this wasn’t that. Diffuse anxiety. That’s what Marian used to call it. Golden Girl Blanche called it being “magenta” – it’s when you’re not blue exactly… I had been trying to sort it all out—trying to understand what it was I feeling. I understood enough to know that I needed to know what “it” was before I could sort “it” out. Did I feel this way because of all the turmoil in the world? A pandemic, high unemployment, murder hornets, a contested election? No,

I promise you patience and understanding. Shoes chewed, books de-covered, table legs gnawed and carpets dirtied, well, those are just things.I promise you I’ll try to learn all you try to teach me. I’ll try to understand your rules and your ways. They’re strange to me, but always I’ll try. I’ll try to understand your words, but the language is new to me. Speak to me with your body and your heart – that, I understand. I promise you time. I’ll put down the phone, push back from the computer and turn off the TV. I’ll throw the ball and